Change is good, possible and essential

So I'm here to return and report on the difference in my life since re-acquiring the necessary habits of consistent daily prayer and scripture study. Bottom line: I just can't believe I ever let myself justify getting casual about those 2 essential things. The benefits and blessings have been immediate and obvious-- at least to me. (You'll have to ask Kev about his recent lottery win/loss record). Life is still crazy and hard, I still lose my cool and my patience, Elle's still not 100% potty trained, etc, etc, etc. Nothing about my challenges has changed. But I have. And that is the miracle.

As Ezra Taft Benson explained, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature."

Every morning, when I used to get the first wave of being overwhelmed by all I had to get done, now I can more easily prioritize and accomplish things bit by bit. I feel good about what I do get done instead of beating myself up for not getting everything done because I do the things that have the most worth first. I can just hear Dad, "if you put first things first, you get both first and second things. If you put second things first, you lose both first and second things." :) My perspective is more consistently focused on the eternal consequences of my choices, so patience and love dictate more of my reactions. I have greater faith and hope in my ability to make all the continued changes I need because I know I am not working alone.

There were so many talks in conference that reinforced the things I've been feeling and learning for myself these past few weeks. Just one example....Elder Bednar spoke of our need to do more of what we know is right--to be more diligent and concerned in our homes. I felt the Lord telling me personally to "be not weary in well-doing" and rejoiced in the promise that "we will never be left alone in these important concerns."

Life is good. The Lord wants to help each of us in every way. We just have to be willing to ask, listen, and obey.

Kit's magic hands do it again!

I remember back in France when Michelle came to see us. She was pregnant with Miss Mary, wearing a walking boot for her broken foot and she came with cute little Gabriel who was almost 2. Michelle has 5 boys and she was knitting for her little girl who was on the way. As Kit watched her knit and then started flipping through the Dale of Norway knitting book, she was hooked:)

Michelle taught her some basic moves and from that little moment all the way across the world in a small little french town has come some of the cutest things ever! Kit's latest masterpiece...








She is an amazing woman and I am so thankful that she is mine and I am hers and that our little angels get to call her Mommy!
Oh and by the way.....there are two more dresses just like that on the way, so look for the completed project!!

Simplify, simplify, simplify

So... Kevin's loving determination to see me happy was the final push I needed tonight to do what I've been wanting to do for months now. Simplify, simplify, simplify. In other words: snip, snip, snip :)

About 10 inches later.....

I think I lost about 10 lbs in a half hour! Life is good.

Elle's comments: "I want to cut all my hair off!" (before she saw the actual result)

Then, when she saw me: "I don't want Mommy to cut all her hair off!" Too late, little Monkey :)

Walk in the Park

Miss sass-a-frass

Elle's happy-face pose

Somehow we've missed the boat on teaching our girls to smile for pictures. No matter how goofy we are, they are pretty much stone cold during any and all photo shoots. Normally, Eden is the exception and lives every day in a constant blissful smiley state, but she must have needed a day off. Oh well... for us, they're still the most beautiful creatures on earth.

"It's OK, Eden, Mom and Dad stop torturing us all soon." Seriously, I'm in awe watching Ryn magnify her role as biggest sister. Leading Elle to the potty chair with her arm around Elle's back, cheering her every success and encouraging her after near misses ("Good job, Elle! You did it!" or "It's OK Elle, next time you'll do it."), and filling Eden's every minute of every day with smiles and giggles.

We really just wanted them to stand by this lamp post, but it was just too tempting of a climb. :)

Kev-the-photographer was getting frustrated with the lack of cooperation from the older 2 girls, so I told him to take a snuggle break with the "bundle of joy" poster child and snapped a few.

So, yeah, it's all worth it.

Yesterday was one of those days where I seriously wondered. Not if it was worth it, but if I was capable. After 2 hours straight of ear-piercing jungle puma screaming, cleaning up more potty and poop near misses than I could stomach, doing the 2 extra loads of laundry that went with them, and trying to keep Eden happy and fed and Ryn entertained and occupied, I honestly just did not know how women for hundreds of years, all over the world, have survived and excelled at this job of patiently loving and mothering.

But here I am, the very next day, back to loving every single minute. I've been laughing at all the adorable things they say, cleaning up the messes with no self-pity, carrying Eden as much as I can so I can kiss her delicious rolls as much as humanly possible, and seeing how truly blessed I am and how I will do whatever it takes to help them be happy and learn as much as they can.

What a roller coaster it is for me. I wonder if it's like this for all moms? These complete extremes from one day (or one minute) to the next....It's like the lottery for Kevin coming home every night--which wife will greet him at the door? :) Poor guy.

So my goal is to be more consistently happy and grateful. One thing I'm doing that will hopefully help me reach that goal is following Elder Kikuchi's counsel in last month's Ensign. He encouraged daily morning personal devotional time that includes sincere prayer, scripture study and meditation, if only for a few minutes. I have always known these habits were important, especially after having them so blissfully uninterrupted on my mission :). Since becoming a mother, and then a mother of 3 in 3 years, it has become increasingly more difficult to find the time. I'm exhausted in the mornings after getting up all night with 1 or more of the girls, then I'm running all day just keeping them alive, and I'm even more exhausted at night when my mind is a worthless mush. Still, I've been able to squeeze in a few minutes most days when Elle is taking a nap, but there are too many times when someone calls or Ryn needs help or Eden won't sleep and my study is cut short or distracted and I have to go over the same sentence 10 times before I even register what I've read. So after Kev and I read this article for our FHE a few weeks ago, I decided I just need to get up a few minutes earlier, no matter how tired I am, and have faith that I will receive the promised blessings for my efforts (just one of which I have on my kitchen wall to remind me: "those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength").

I know that the Lord is just waiting, standing at the door and knocking, to give me the help, the strength and the blessings I need. How ridiculous when I do not open that door. An example of today's immediate result is this quote from President Uchdorf's message this month that filled me with hope:

"May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fulness of the gospel (see D&C 45:28). Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5).
My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity."

So it takes 30 days to form (or re-form) a habit, isn't that right all you SW alumni? :) That means in 30 days, Kev, Ryn, Elle and Eden will be winning the lottery every day and being a mom every day will just be a walk in the park. ;)

Becky

Today this world lost one amazing woman. Becky (in the red apron) was married to my Dad's younger brother, Kelly (another amazing person who deserves his own entry), and was always right up there with my mom in terms of being a woman I admired. Her home was open to anyone and everyone who needed a place to feel welcome, to laugh, to talk, to eat, and to love life. She worried more about helping people feel good about themselves than worrying about what people thought of her. Every holiday was celebrated for weeks through the decorations, treats, and traditions that were so Becky. As she cared for my dad's parents unceasingly until, and even after their deaths (cleaning out their home, etc.), I was in awe of her example of a faithful daughter-in-law. She did what was right, no matter the consequences--even sending her youngest out on his mission knowing that she might not see him again in this life.

Some people are so optimistic that they drive you crazy, and some people are so realistic that they are critical and seemingly without hope. Becky was perfectly balanced between the two--an optimistic realist...or maybe a realistic optimist :) She readily admitted and recognized challenges, but worked as hard as she could and hoped for the best. This is definitely one reason she was able to fight so long the cancer that took her life. Becky loved and lived life to the fullest, squeezing as much as possible out of every day. Even those 8 years with the pain and fatigue of cancer and its taxing treatments, she and her family were outside doing something every time you turned around--hiking, camping, boating, river rafting (almost to their deaths :) ), traveling to pick up their missionary kids, snowmobiling, gardening, serving in the church, etc, etc, etc.

Some great Becky one-liners (from her kids and Uncle Kelly):

--"I am going to go on strike!"

--"Do you want a knuckle sandwich?"

--"How many air miles do you have?"

--"AGAIN?"

--"The best gift you can give someone is a good example."

I'm so thankful for the influence of this righteous woman in my life.

I loved what Mark wrote here: http://markandaup.blogspot.com/?zx=7f1057973d454de3

Her obituary:

Rebecca Firmage Ellis Aug. 6, 1953 ~Aug. 29, 2009

Beloved Rebecca (Becky) Firmage Ellis, 56, died Saturday, August 29, 2009 at home, following a courageous battle with breast cancer. She was born August 6, 1953 in Kingsport, Tenn. to Margaret Felt and D. Allan Firmage and moved with her family to Provo, Utah when she was two years old.

Becky married her true love and best friend Kelly Taylor Ellis, on December 27, 1975 in the Provo, LDS Temple and they were blessed with five devoted children.She was a graduate of Provo High School and earned both a bachelor's and master's degree from Brigham Young University in dance and later a EdD from BYU in Educational Leadership.

In Becky's life her family always came first. She loved being a wife and a mother and was definitely the biggest cheerleader for each of her five children and four grandchildren as she supported and encouraged them to develop their individual strengths and talents.Throughout her life she was able to balance family responsibilities and fun, with her love of dance and creative movement as she taught Children's Dance at BYU, and Academics Through Movement for Elementary Education students at UVU. She especially loved teaching the BOYS Dance classes which she did for 18 years at BYU. In June of this year she took eight of her BOYS to New York City and with them presented at the National Dance Educator's Organization. Becky demonstrated how to teach boys to use their creativity, rhythm and strength in dance and still allow themselves to be boys.She was a faithful member of the LDS Church and had served as a Young Women's President, counselor in the Stake Young Women's Organization, Relief Society President, Activities Committee Chair, Webelos leader, and most importantly, a loving Visiting Teacher. She had a strong testimony of the gospel and eternal families.

Becky is survived by her husband, Kelly, children Jake (Cindy), Chet (Laura), Andee (Spencer) Bott, Clay, and Elder Michael (Mick) Ellis (currently serving in the Mexico, Monterey West Mission of the LDS Church), 4 grand-daughters, Aubrey, Taylor, Avery, and Ireland, one soon-to-be grandson Mason (due Sept. 18), her father, D. Allan Firmage, sisters, Kathy Campbell (Kailua, HI), Jeri Walton (Alpine, UT), Nita Price (Reno, NV), and brothers, Richard (Kaysville, UT), and Ron (Orem, UT). She was preceded in death by her mother, Margaret Felt Firmage.

The family expresses their sincere appreciation to Dr. William Reese and Dr. Nathan Rich and their staffs for their loving care during her eight year battle.

Eden Taylor at 6 months

This is her newest smile--the "Where are my dentures?" look :)



We just can't get enough of this chunky, blue-eyed angel.

Pantalettes and the Potty Chair

I had tried to start potty training Elle a little over a month ago. Even though she was successful right away, she lost interest after the first day. All of that changed when we checked out a life-saving book from the library.

Princess pants, big girl pants, underwear...none of these titles inspired the necessary desire in our little Miss Independent to keep anything clean by using the potty chair. In this book, a princess with a similar disposition finally uses the potty because she just got some beautiful "pantalettes" and was determined not to have to give them up for her royal diaper. Well, our Wee Word Woman latched on to that one, and now, hallelujah, wants to wear "pretty pantalettes" every day and keep them nice and clean. With movies and treats to get the princess to stay put and shoot for success, it's fun for the whole family!