Walk in the Park

Miss sass-a-frass

Elle's happy-face pose

Somehow we've missed the boat on teaching our girls to smile for pictures. No matter how goofy we are, they are pretty much stone cold during any and all photo shoots. Normally, Eden is the exception and lives every day in a constant blissful smiley state, but she must have needed a day off. Oh well... for us, they're still the most beautiful creatures on earth.

"It's OK, Eden, Mom and Dad stop torturing us all soon." Seriously, I'm in awe watching Ryn magnify her role as biggest sister. Leading Elle to the potty chair with her arm around Elle's back, cheering her every success and encouraging her after near misses ("Good job, Elle! You did it!" or "It's OK Elle, next time you'll do it."), and filling Eden's every minute of every day with smiles and giggles.

We really just wanted them to stand by this lamp post, but it was just too tempting of a climb. :)

Kev-the-photographer was getting frustrated with the lack of cooperation from the older 2 girls, so I told him to take a snuggle break with the "bundle of joy" poster child and snapped a few.

So, yeah, it's all worth it.

Yesterday was one of those days where I seriously wondered. Not if it was worth it, but if I was capable. After 2 hours straight of ear-piercing jungle puma screaming, cleaning up more potty and poop near misses than I could stomach, doing the 2 extra loads of laundry that went with them, and trying to keep Eden happy and fed and Ryn entertained and occupied, I honestly just did not know how women for hundreds of years, all over the world, have survived and excelled at this job of patiently loving and mothering.

But here I am, the very next day, back to loving every single minute. I've been laughing at all the adorable things they say, cleaning up the messes with no self-pity, carrying Eden as much as I can so I can kiss her delicious rolls as much as humanly possible, and seeing how truly blessed I am and how I will do whatever it takes to help them be happy and learn as much as they can.

What a roller coaster it is for me. I wonder if it's like this for all moms? These complete extremes from one day (or one minute) to the next....It's like the lottery for Kevin coming home every night--which wife will greet him at the door? :) Poor guy.

So my goal is to be more consistently happy and grateful. One thing I'm doing that will hopefully help me reach that goal is following Elder Kikuchi's counsel in last month's Ensign. He encouraged daily morning personal devotional time that includes sincere prayer, scripture study and meditation, if only for a few minutes. I have always known these habits were important, especially after having them so blissfully uninterrupted on my mission :). Since becoming a mother, and then a mother of 3 in 3 years, it has become increasingly more difficult to find the time. I'm exhausted in the mornings after getting up all night with 1 or more of the girls, then I'm running all day just keeping them alive, and I'm even more exhausted at night when my mind is a worthless mush. Still, I've been able to squeeze in a few minutes most days when Elle is taking a nap, but there are too many times when someone calls or Ryn needs help or Eden won't sleep and my study is cut short or distracted and I have to go over the same sentence 10 times before I even register what I've read. So after Kev and I read this article for our FHE a few weeks ago, I decided I just need to get up a few minutes earlier, no matter how tired I am, and have faith that I will receive the promised blessings for my efforts (just one of which I have on my kitchen wall to remind me: "those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength").

I know that the Lord is just waiting, standing at the door and knocking, to give me the help, the strength and the blessings I need. How ridiculous when I do not open that door. An example of today's immediate result is this quote from President Uchdorf's message this month that filled me with hope:

"May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fulness of the gospel (see D&C 45:28). Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5).
My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity."

So it takes 30 days to form (or re-form) a habit, isn't that right all you SW alumni? :) That means in 30 days, Kev, Ryn, Elle and Eden will be winning the lottery every day and being a mom every day will just be a walk in the park. ;)