Motherhood

We had a great regional/conference a few weeks ago that was broadcast from the Conference Center. The speakers were Brother Beck, YM general president; Sister Dalton, YW general president; one of the seventies whose name just slipped my mind(and my sick little boy is sleeping on my lap so I'm not going to get my notes right now); and Elder Bednar, whose remarks were amazing. He spoke without any written/prepared talk about 3 things that he had been recently pondering and felt impressed to share with us.

1. The difference between testimony and conversion. testimony is knowledge we gain from the spirit that something is true and comes from God. Conversion is consistently conforming our lives--actions, choices, words--to what we know to be true. Obviously conversion is the goal for each of us, because as we become converted, we become like Christ. Our character, our very nature, starts to ressemble His.

2. The character of Christ. Elder Maxwell said something once when they were on an assignment together: "If not for the character of Christ, there would have been no atonement made." Elder Bednar had pondered that statement for years, trying to learn all he could about the character of Christ and why it was so crucial to our salvation. Basically, it came down to one thing--when faced with our deepest, most difficult trials, the natural man turns inward, but Christ, when faced with trials more difficult than we can even comprehend, turned outward. Elder Bednar said this is the ultimate goal of our our conversion.

3. The only way this change in our character is even possible is through the atonement. We cannot do it alone. But with Him, it is possible.

As I sat there listening, I thought, "wow. That is so wonderful that he was able to learn all of that from the Spirit as he studied and pondered. I really need to make more time for that in my life so I can be taught all that I need to learn."

As soon as we got home, the real life challenges of motherhood hit me again. Everyone needing something from me at the same time, food, diaper changes, dishes, whining, sister fighting, a two-year-old insisting on wearing the same tiny skirt and sparkly shoes she's been living in for the past week, etc. As I tried to hurry as fast as I could from one urgent need to the next (never fast enough for the next person in line which incited more whining :)), I couldn't help thinking with the slightest hint of bitterness, "Of course Elder Bednar was able to have all of that inspiration--he has TIME to ponder!" I immediately remembered one of my favorite quotes from conference. "Motherhood is what God gave you time for." And I remembered how much I am learning through every minute of chaos from these tiny, heavenly people. (So much that I've had the desire to write a book about it.) My job is to use every second with them to become who I need to be. Every time I respond with love, with patience, with humor, with gratitude, with selflessness, I am doing exactly what Elder Bednar talked about. I get the chance a million times every day to be a doer of the word. To experiment upon it and not just ponder it. I had many years to do only that and now... it's game time :). Can I consistantly DO the things I KNOW to be true? Can I turn outward in love when my tiny challenges seem overwhelming? Can I apply the atonement in my life so I can receive His help right now, in the midst of my becoming? I pray that I can be true in every way. For them.

August, September AND October funnies....not funny that I'm so behind

A few favorite vocabulary words--
taste bugs (Elle)
wep wipes (all 3 girls)
pat-er-ryn (pattern--Ryn)

Aug 4--We only let the kids have juice at breakfast or they would be drinking it all day long. Elle tried to teach Eden that water is good for us. Eden didn't really care about the health benefits: Juice makes me HAPPY! And only water makes me sad.

Aug 14--Elle was locked out of some room by Ryn and Eden and shouted, "Let me in, you cowards!"

Aug 16--Elle spilled something at one of our meals and started shaking her head, "It just didn't work out so good."

Aug 18--Ryn was upset with something Elle had done with her stuff and wasn't being very nice about it. I reminded her again that people are more important than things and Elle chimed in, "and I'm a people!"

Aug 25--Sometimes the pure sweetness of these kids just makes me cry. Every meal time is a race to see who can finish first--really just an attempt at getting Elle to finish eating in anything less than an hour. Ryn, who eats like an Ellis, is always done at least 30 minutes before Elle and often before she even gets started. Even though Elle knows what she needs to do to beat Ryn--just keep eating--and has succeeded before, she still gets sad when Ryn repeatedly wins the "race". On this morning, as Ryn was about to take her last bites, she whispered to me, "I'm going to have more cereal so Elle can beat me."

Aug 27--Getting ready for bed, Ryn and Elle had to teach me some specifics of being naked. SUPER naked is when you don't have anything on. Naked is when you're just down to your skivvy's.

Aug 31--Darren is continuously surrounded by loving big sisters. As Elle admired how cute he is, she must have said she wanted to marry him because Eden exclaimed, "You can't marry him! That's not a prince--that's Darren!" And Ryn came up with a term that describes Darren's predicament more often than not--"girl trapped"--when you have girls on all sides.

This was Ryn's first week of school and every day we keenly felt her absence. Eden would hug her tightly and tell her, "Ryn, I misted you!"

Sept 1--We often have talks about words that we don't say in our family. Idiot is one of them. Unfortunately, Kevin sometimes lets this one slip when someone offends him on the road. Elle called him on it and Ryn turned and explained, "We can only say idiot in the car with Daddy."

Sept 2--We are quickly learning that the bus is a dangerous place for innocent little girls. Ryn came home and said, "A boy on the bus asked me to marry him!" Kit: "What is his name?" Ryn: "I don't know." Kit: "You can't marry someone without knowing his name." Ryn: "OK, I'll find out his name next time."

Sept 4--It was a rare lazy Saturday morning and our whole little family was snuggling under a blanket together. Heaven. Then Ryn smiled at me and told me my breath was stinky. In the kitchen, hours later, Elle--our resident blood hound, announced, "I smell something stinky." Ryn called out from her coloring, "It's just Mom's breath."

Sept 29--Elle's prayers have been wonderful lately. "Please help Daddy get the money. Please help no one to be sick--the people we know and the people we don't know. Please help Mommy and Daddy to stay in their beds and not to sneak out to the gym. Please help Mommy not to forget things."

Oct 14--Mom was in Texas helping Rob and Christa with their new twins and so we invited Dad over for dinner. When we told the girls he was coming, Ryn asked, "Is Papa Stan going to play with us?" Kevin and I just looked at each other and smiled. We love you, Dad!

Oct 17--Eden is just so adorable right now. I had to write down a few of my favorite words she's saying, and all three of these I just happen to hear every time I help her in the bathroom.

Tow-yet (toilet)

Gank you, Mommy!

a big SKINKY

Oct 20--I was eating a treat while I was making dinner (the girls always have to wait until after they finish eating) and Ryn called me on it. "Why can you do whatever you want?" What was so funny to me was that she said it with no anger or resentment or sarcasm. It was just a simple question. Something she'd been wondering about. She didn't even ask if she could have a treat, too.

Oct 28--I was driving and Kevin leaned over and put his head on my shoulder while we were all in the car together. Ryn's comment from the back seat of the van reminded us why we're not liking the bus very much and prompted a very serious discussion when we got home. "That's what Ryan does to me on the bus." !?@#$@#%@$%!

Halloween 2011--3 princesses and the frog

Halloween for us is stretched out over several days. I can't imagine anything more fun for little kids whose mantra is "get candy. get candy." like mine was when I was little. In fact, my first full sentence was "I want candy."

The Monday before, we carved little pumpkins for FHE. I love all the different facial expressions so even though this looks like multiples, it's just a mommy that doesn't want to forget one smile. Ryn's pumpkin was a cyclops, Elle's was the classic triangle face, and Eden's is saying "Ye-hes!" like Daddy makes her say over and over because he loves watching her expressive munchkin face so much.






As for the parties:
First up--on the Saturday before Halloween, the trunk-or-treat at Mama KK's ward with Johnny and Co.




The actual day was crazy from start to finish. I helped with Ryn's class party and was going 90 miles/minute the whole time so I didn't get one picture :(. Elle had her preschool party at the same time so I didn't get to help out other than getting her all dolled up before dropping her off. Next it was running to the store to get more almond bark to melt for the apple balls we were going to dip in Ryn's class. Mom was sweet enough to come watch Eden and Darren while we partied the morning away. Then we sprinted to Kevin's party at Rhodes and up to Mom and Dad's to record more of their life history. On the way back for dinner and trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, we stopped by to see the Lehnardt's who gave the girls their gorgeous princess dresses this past May. Thank you, Michelle and Mary and the boys, for saving me from making costumes this year!!!


They may love the candy, but for me, there is nothing sweeter than those smiles!

Kindergarten--can this really be happening?

I woke Ryn up early this morning, after I watched her sleeping face for a few minutes wondering how this big, sweet, beautiful baby turned into this even bigger, sweeter, more beautiful girl. "It's time to wake up for your first day of school." Immediately, she smiled with her eyes still closed. We made her bed together and said a prayer and she chose her favorite outfit (thanks, Mary!) to wear.

Elle and Eden wanted to get dressed, too, so we could all go to the bus stop together. The whole time we were getting dressed and brushing hair, they all kept telling each other how much they were going to miss each other as they start this new chapter in our life. My little bubble is bursting today.

We prayed and ate breakfast and read scriptures and I will be praying all day and every day. There is a quote Kev and I found to put on t-shirts for our moms one Mother's Day that I'm really identifying with today.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Now, instead of having my heart just walking around my house, by my side, in my back yard and maybe at a friend's house for little while, my heart is walking around Draper Elementary School!

Out the front door...





One of the big kids now...



One last sister hug before she goes....



Eden got a little smushed which is why she made this great face...



Talking with our friend, Henry, about wanting to walk home together...



Wide eyes watching the bus pull up to our stop...





It really is hard to see our first baby climb up those stairs on the big yellow bus. To let her go. And this is just the first of the many letting go's to come. But I look at that smile, so full of anticipation and joy, and I can't wait to see all the amazing things she will do in her life.

summer smiles and swimming lessons

Ryn and Elle loved taking their first swim lessons from a great lady in our neighborhood. No nonsense and so kind, Linda is the greatest teacher I could have ever imagined for these mermaids that have always feared the water.

what do you do with lemons?

In the middle of our fun home repair days, the girls decided they wanted to set up a lemonade stand. It actually turned out to be an amazingly fun distraction stretched over 2 days. Day 1: we made the signs,

...got the table and chairs ready, and then opened the door to see huge rain clouds on their way. So the girls just sat on the front step and caught rain drops on their tongues.

Ryn tried to teach Elle the exact method for correct raindrop catching.

Day 2: offered the perfect weather (HOT), so we tried again. It was so hot, though, that they started drinking all the lemonade themselves.

Cute Grandpa Tom showed up with an umbrella to shade the little saleswomen and be their first paying customer.

They actually ended up doing pretty well, thanks to all of our nice neighbors, and stayed out long enough for Eden to help a bit after her nap.

Don't know if any of them will end up in sales, but it made for one adorable sight out of my front window.

Homeownership

has its ups and downs. We are thrilled and feel so blessed to have found this great home.

Each month has brought fun surprises--every color of tulip imaginable, fabulous family gatherings, an amazing new ward family, front row seats for Draper Days fireworks (set off from the parking lot of Ryn's soon-to-be elementary school that's in our ward boundaries), delicious blackberries growing along the wall of Kev's gym, being able to walk to church just 2 doors down and the library and park just 2 blocks away, etc, etc, etc.

As for the downs, it just sometimes feels like we've stepped into Tom Hanks' and Shelly Long's roles in "The Money Pit". In the last 2 months we've had an AC unit break down multiple times (finally fixed, yea!), a water leak on our main culinary line, a broken gas line (currently being replaced) that feeds our stove and dryer, and a visit from the health department informing us that we have an illegal septic tank in our back yard that was installed for the detached garage when it was built 16 years ago. We knew there was a septic tank, just didn't know it was illegal. Get excited. So when our tub falls through the floor tomorrow, just picture me laughing like Tom Hanks :).

Honestly, I am really tired and it has been pretty frustrating. But also, I've been amazed by the blessings we've received during and in the midst of all these little bumps in the road. When we moved in, we found out that our stake's emergency preparedness goal for this quarter was for every family to obtain or rotate their 2 week and 72 hour water supplies. We have a big 55 gallon drum up at Kev's parents' house that we need to get down here, empty, and refill. But until we could do that, I just started filling up the 96 oz apple juice bottles we use (about 2/week) and the girls had a blast carrying them down to our storage closet in the basement. (We had a Family Home Evening lesson on home storage and they love filling those shelves little by little.) When we found the leak in the water line, we had it turned off for 3 days until we could cap it. The first night, when it was time to brush our teeth, we skipped to the storage closet to get out a bottle of water and we had more than enough to see us through those three days. It was so fun to have that tangible and immediate lesson of how we are blessed when we follow the counsel of our prophet and leaders.

On one of the days when it seemed like every half hour I was receiving some little bit of bad news about one of the problems, I got a phone call from a lady that teaches the preschool where I had been praying to be able to send Elle. All the classes had been filled, so I had her on the waiting list and a spot opened up in the very one I wanted--MWF in the morning, so her schedule would coincide with Ryn's AM Kindergarten. Then, last Friday, in the 20 minutes between some repair men leaving and right before the man from the health department showed up, my neighbor called to tell me that their piano teacher had an opening for Ryn. Another answer to prayer.

To anyone else, these might seem like little blessings compared to the bigger problems. But not to me. Each one of these miracles showed me that God knows me personally and He loves me enough to care about the "little" things that are important to me as a mother. He hears my prayers and He answers them. He cares enough about me and my family to inspire our stake leaders to have that specific goal for water at the exact moment we were moving in to this house and would need it during our water leak repair. And He loves my children enough to offer me that teaching moment so they will have the faith to trust Him and follow Him always. He loves me so much that He lets me grow and learn through these trials, but gives me perfectly timed tender mercies to stregthen my hope and faith so I can survive them. Truly, I stand amazed at the love and grace that He offers me.

A few days ago, my friend Michelle pointed me towards this BYU devotional about grace, given by Brad Wilcox. Amazing. Here is one of my favorite parts that I have seen up close and personally these past few weeks:

"Christ is not waiting at the finish line once we have done “all we can do” (2 Nephi 25:23). He is with us every step of the way. Elder Bruce C. Hafen has written, “The Savior’s gift of grace to us is not necessarily limited in time to ‘after’ all we can do. We may receive his grace before, during and after the time when we expend our own efforts”. So grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel. Grace is not achieved somewhere down the road. It is received right here and right now. It is not a finishing touch; it is the Finisher’s touch (see Hebrews 12:2)."

http://byutv.org/watch/49475abb-10d4-4f45-a757-7000b9945468#comments