Hope

"9 lbs 8 oz, 20.5 inches of perfection."  That's how I described Hope to Natalie in my reply to her text message on delivery day.  It was kind of a scary delivery.  I felt so tired and shaky the whole time.  Her heart rate kept dropping.  I was so thankful Kevin had given me a blessing before it all started and I prayed throughout the whole thing that she would make it safely here, that I would make it OK, too.  Maybe it's because I'm getting older and losing that feeling of invincibility that is still hanging on in your early 30s, but each safe delivery seems more and more miraculous to me.


We named her Hope Carma Linkous.  She is Carma for Kevin's wonderful mother.  Creative, strong, gentle, selfless, constant, thoughtful, talented, patient, humble, loving, loyal and true.  I know Hope will be blessed all her life as she follows Carma's example.

I've loved the name Hope ever since sharing the wheel at drivers' ed with my dear friend, Misty.  On our folders, we each had a sticker with our full names--mine read "Kathryn (none) Ellis" and hers, "Misty Hope McCleod".  I thought then, and still do, that there was never a more beautiful name for a beautiful soul. 

The name Hope also holds so much meaning for us because of our experiences in getting our family started.  Anyone struggling through infertility might look at our story and find hope.  But the bottom line is that, to me, hope is the essence of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Only the hope that I received through him could keep me going through every step of our journey to having our first baby and it is the only thing that keeps me going now that I have had 5 in 7 years :).  It is the reason I can wake up each day and smile at the chance to make it better than the last.  It is the reason I can teach my children to love and to trust in the goodness of others when so many scary things are happening in our world.  It is the reason I can look forward to the day when I will fall at his feet and thank him for this chance to be a mother to these angels for eternity.  It is the loving message I find on every page of scripture--"Come unto me...", "Peace I leave with you...", "For God so loved the world...","Ask and ye shall receive...", "..for he loveth our souls". 

I remember my dad talking about hope when he was serving as a mission president.  Telling me how one of Satan's biggest lies is making people think there is no hope.  They've sinned too much, they've gone too far, it's too late to change.  When always and in all things, Christ is pleading for us to believe him.  To cling to the hope he offers through his atoning sacrifice.  To hold on and press forward in that hope long and hard enough to where it brings us back to him.  I love that every time I look in this baby's eyes and speak her name, I am reminded of these things.  Welcome to the world, Hope.  We can't tell you how thankful we are that you came to us.