One Terrific Turtle

There's a hole in my heart. That's what losing someone I love feels like to me--like someone actually has taken a part of me away. My amazing Grandmother Turtle died today. Lucky Ryn got to talk to her this morning when she called to sing Happy Birthday with Bob. I last talked to her on Sunday and she was on oxygen, breathing heavily between every few words. "I was always just going so fast, doing so many things....I never thought I'd actually get old....but I'm glad I did (tiny chuckle, then more labored breaths). Enjoy every moment, Kit. In every challenge think "'I'm so glad I get to experience this!'" My Kitten.....you're my Kitten.....I love you so much. And Ryn and Elle and Eden and that beautiful baby Darren. And hearing you and Kevin sing. Your voices just blend so beautifully!"

How thankful I am that Mom made the push to get all of Grandma's posterity there for her 95th birthday a month ago. All 4 of her children, her 12 grandchildren and 22 great grandchildren

The party was a grand affair, planned perfectly by Mom. She had a chart drawn up with spots for everyone in this picture so we could take it as quickly as possible, seating charts and name cards on the table, menu complete with mac and cheese for the kids, those two adorable turtle cakes, a little song/skit from each of our families, and then lots of music and dancing.

After church the next day, I had to stop by one more time to see her before we left to drive home. My little family went in and sang to her while she lay on the couch. The girls sang "I Know That My Savior Loves Me" and Kev and I sang "Au Jardin" and "Stop and Smell the Roses". We said goodbye to sweet Bill and Marion, too, and as we were leaving I wondered if that was the last time I'd get to hug my grandma and hold her lovely tiny hand. How I love that woman! I loved it when she would get excited about something and use her hands to show how beautiful something was. I love how she tried to keep learning and living life to the fullest right up to the end. 95 years of "getting to experience" every single thing possible.

I know I'll see her again. I know she lived a long and full life and is surely happy to be reunited with the people she has been missing (she outlived everyone she ever knew, basically), especially Grandpa Lynn. But I've been crying enough that Eden just had to tell me, "It's OK, Mom. We don't cry on birthdays. Everything is going to be OK." And it's true. I'm just going to miss that great woman until I see her again.