Bitter Sweet

This past week has been fun, we went to the park and played in the autumn leaves. We also love the smell of wood-burning fireplaces and the trees as they change color. This is a time of bitter sweetness though, with the arrival of one beautiful season comes the end of another. Being raised by a master gardener I truly miss the spring and summer seasons, with all their life and warmth and yet it’s amazing to me how the seasons that bring an end to such splendors can still have such appeal and beauty. Autumn with it’s colors and the chill in the air that brings the jackets out of the closet and the fun holidays that spice up the colder months is always exciting.
All this reflection came about as I was on the road this weekend for a game in Bordeaux. I was listening to one of my favorite Cd’s- “Kenny Loggins-More songs from Pooh Corner” and the song “Turn Around” came on. I found myself getting all choked up as the song continued. Here are the lyrics:
Where are you going, my little one, little one

Where are you going, my baby, my own?

Turn around and you’re two, turn around and you’re four

Turn around and you’re a young girl going out of my door

Turn around, turn around Turn around and you’re a young girl going out of my door

Where are you going, my little one, little one

Little dirndls and petticoats, where have you gone?

Turn around and you’re tiny, turn around and you’re grown

Turn around and you’re a young wife with babes of your own

Turn around, turn aroundTurn around and you’re a young wife with babes of your own
Turn around, turn aroundTurn around and you’re the young girl going out of the door
Where are you going, my little one, little one

Where are you going, my ba-by, my own?

The reality of my little angel, Ryn growing up faster and faster really dawned on me, actually it hit me like a Mack truck and I realized I was all teary eyed.
Everyone always talks about how each age has it’s own charm. How even though it’s sad to see the cute baby stages go by the toddler stages are going to bring just as much cuteness. I agree! But at the same time it is so hard for me to see her growing up. We waited so long for her to come to us and now it seems like every-time I turn around she has stopped doing one of the things I loved so much and has now moved on to a newer cute thing. I just have to look at it the same way as the seasons and can’t miss any opportunities to spend time with her and love her at each stage.
I am so grateful for this gift of being a Daddy. It completes me as a man and helps me be a better man. Hearing her ask for me, ” where’s Dad” with her little sweet inflection and hugging me just for no reason at all and squeezing me tight and saying “squeeeeeze”. There is nothing better. I know I will have other “seasons” with Ryn that are just as beautiful and special, as will I with Elle but just as each Christmas or Holiday can hold a special place in our hearts and minds the memories and moments that I have shared with Ryn up until now are just that–memories, but oh so precious to me!